Nate

In today’s show, Dr. Howk dicusses:

1. I am a fairly successful artist in his late 20s (definitely another Jimmy the Guitar player). My Big Five is highly distorted (O-98, C-75, E-98, A-15, N-98), which has gotten me in all sorts of trouble but luckily, my high IQ has kept me on the right track. Your podcast and website have helped me in almost every arena, but I can’t shake my Jimmy gene. I find myself “falling in love”, but losing interest just as quickly. This has caused many unhappy romantic relationships, sometimes even when I desperately want them to work. How can a Jimmy who would love to pair bond beat his genes? Is there a ten paid dates rule for men? What is the right environment, if I can’t change my personality?

2. I’m a young male adult (~20), and I truly enjoying studying, working out, training, and just overall being productive. I know it’s because I’m trying to gain mate value and climb social structures, but I truly enjoy it.  Now, I recently aquired a girlfriend, and I’ve found that I’m more attracted to bouts of watching youtube videos for a few hours at night before I go to bed, or just generally not being productive. I’ve had problems here and there, but most of the time I avoid the temptation altogether and it works well. But the energy to stop relaxing and start working once I’m there is more than I’m willing to muster, it seems. It may be that this is just how I feel right now in life, and in a month or two I’ll be more productive again, but do you think it’s possible that now I have a mate, my brain doesn’t believe I have a serious need to climb structures and gain skills? If so, that is seriously depressing.

In today’s show, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions: 

1.  Our adult son is still living at home to save money to buy his own place. This year he was riding his motorcycle without insurance for short rides. We chose to put a wheel lock on his bike until he gets insurance. Since then he basically ignores us. How can we get through to him and put an end to this ‘stand off’? 

2. My partner is 44 and has never had a serious job for more than a couple of months. He hates authority and always complains about having superiors or work being “dull”.  I’ve been the main breadwinner for many years and I am fed up. The thing stopping me from throwing out his stuff and changing the locks is the fact that we have a 10-year-old child. That, and the fact that my partner has a bad temper when pushed. How do I get out safely?

3.  My son is 14, and his personality is not very charming. He says very mean things to me, he is violent towards things and sometimes me, he has a hard time making and keeping friends. He is selfish in a way that is ruthless. Our dog is terrified of him. I don’t know how to deal with him anymore.Give me advice on how to be a better mother and how to cope please.

4. I am having a major personality clash with my mother-in-law. She is extremely religious and insists on praying for me and my husband regardless of what we are up to or going through. Every success is owing to her prayers, and every failure, she claims, is *in spite of* her prayers.  She has been a major point of stress for me since getting married three years ago. Her brand of undermining, theological interference really bugs me. Do you prescribe some disagreeable distance, or perhaps something else? I want to be a pleasant daughter-in-law but find myself feeling nothing short of hateful for her godly gaslighting. HELP!