In today’s show, Dr. Lisle discusses:
1. Is it different when a female partner indulges in the equivalent of but for women, than it is for if a male partner indulges? From what I understand, if the man is still very into his wife, it might not be much of a problem at all. Is it the same when a woman is indulging in shows and books that titillate the female mind?
2. At 24 years old (female) having left a long 4 year relationship I did quite a lot of “market research” and calibration via casual dating/sex which was incredibly informative and mostly fun. Near enough after 100+ matches and 20 dates, I met my current boyfriend, and it’s been going great. We’ve been dating about six months and we’re in love. He really resents me having had casual mating partners because he said it’s a big turn off and likes to pretend it “didn’t happen”. Without my dating history I don’t think I would be satisfied to pair bond or understand what I want from a long term partner, so it’s hardly irrelevant to where I am now, but I am really committed to making him feel loved and secure with me. Do you think this is a natural reaction in the stone age as men especially want evidence that their pair bonded partner is capable of loyalty and not flake or cheat on them? In which case do I avoid bringing it up and accept my past decisions are sending the wrong signals, or sit down to discuss if these decisions threaten the security of the relationship?
3. I understand marriage is unnatural to our natural history, and you’re generally against getting married if you’re not absolutely sure and haven’t been together for 21 decades (joke), but what advice would you give for someone in a pairbond to make them continously more attractive for a pairbond? So if someone wants to simply settle down and be happy with one person, how do we beat our genes?