dating advice

In today’s show, the doctors discuss: 

1.  I have been married for 8 years to a man who is a federal government employee. He is very responsible and reliable. Now, since the pandemic, he has been working from home 4-5x/week. I have notice how lazy he is. I workout, eat clean, do the cooking and all the cleaning. I find myself getting so irritated when I am with him. He is overweight and growing. He literally sits watching TV or reading articles on the computer and eating crap during working hours. I do not understand why my habits are not more influential.  My question is, how can in manage my feelings of frustrations and irritability. I border lack of respect and even attraction to him, am I being too dramatic. 

2. I am in a relationship for about 4 years now.  I am an agreeable introvert she is disagreeable introvert.. we both like spending time together and doing things, but our sex life is not great, she has some medical reasons and penetration is painful.. and this is something that comes up every now and then, she confessed previous relationships ended because of this, i can feel it most times she is not enjoying having sex, but she puts up with it.  My question is, is such dynamic possible, can a relationship survive long term, my sex drive is quite high, i’m 30, she is 28.. i feel like we should make it work but dont know what are the odds of this, i find myself reaching out different outlets to express my needs.  

3. How can I tell if my boyfriend is in love with/is really interested in his ‘female friend’? How often would you say intuition is right in these situations?

4. Is it possible to be an agreeable highly testosteronized male?   What would such a male look like?  This confuses me bc I often think of highly testosteronized as a dominance climbing, aggressiveans & competitive and so am wondering how these traits co-exist.

In today’s show, Dr. Howk discusses: 

1.Should I be worried if my boyfriend’s career is a higher priority than me and our future family? If I was the love of his life would his career still be more important than me? He is 40 and a financier on wall street. 

2. What are the ways women abuse men? Is the silent treatment, inducing jealousy, withholding intimacy, considered abusive? I’m a woman and I found myself doing these things in a toxic relationship in which my partner called me abusive, which made me wonder if I was.

3. You’ve only briefly touched on video games on the podcast, and I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on the psychology behind them. What do you link their popularity as an entertain medium / form of escape to?You’ve only briefly touched on video games on the podcast, and I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on the psychology behind them. What do you link their popularity as an entertain medium form of escape to?

4. I am a 35 year old female who is afraid to talk to men. I am so nervous when talking to the opposite sex that it is affecting my work and studies, to the point where I chose to pursue a professional degree in which the majority of students are female. I avoid interacting with males wherever I go; I always choose female doctors or dentists and only speak to female salespersons when in a store. At 35, I have never been on a date, which my friends (who are female) and family think is weird. I have never been traumatized by a man, never been raped, and had a good childhood. I know this is not normal and would like to overcome this.

5.I am a student in my 3rd year of a bachelor of psychology. No matter the subject, the courses always manage to devote a section to gender theory. Its taught as a fact that gender is a series of norms socialized into us and have no basis in biology. Where does evolutionary psychology fall on gender theory?

In today’s show, the Dr’s discuss:

1. can you illuminate us a bit about the nature of sexual disgust. I am currently seeing a man who is very much in love with me and is a good match for me in general. I like him very much and can imagine him as a future partner. However, I hate being touched by him. I feel so grossed out by it,it doesn’t turn me on at all and so I avoid physical intimacy with him. Is there any way to get over this or should I just quit?

2. My ex that I was with for one year that’s 60 pounds overweight and objectively a 4 cheated on me even though I’m 108 pounds with about a .7 hip to waist ratio and at least a 7. Why would this happen? I dated him because I thought he would appreciate how much more attractive than him I was and thus treat me well and not cheat on me at the least! The girls he has dated before me and cheated on me with were less attractive than me. He even said they were only ‘okay’. He told me he makes seven figures but I estimate it to be $200,00 which is still great so maybe that’s why he thinks he’s so great and better than me? He showed me the ring he was going to propose to me with as a last ditch effort to get me to not break up with him which was apparently $80,000. My guess is that it’s actually around $15,000. Other than that, he doesn’t seem interested in marriage in general even though he’s 41. Is he just naturally a short-term mater unless he’s insanely rewarded? If he really valued me wouldn’t he not risk losing me over some random girls? Please tell me what I’m doing wrong and what’s going on, I have an open loop about this and I feel like I can’t stop thinking about this until I understand every small detail so I can avoid making the same mistakes in the future.