dating advice

240: Dealing with Narcissism, Small Talk vs Discussing Unconventional views

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In today’s new episode, Dr. Lisle discusses the following questions:

1) I was deeply fascinated by the Drs’ take on narcissism and finally realized my mother is a narcissist. Many of my “friends” are also narcissists or suffer from tendencies. Is there a correlation between being raised by a narcissist and seeking those same traits in friends/partners? And what advice would you share for dealing with these people, short of running for the door?

2) I finished How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World earlier this year. What an amazing book that has radically changed my outlook on things. Since then I have tried to be much more intentional about honestly presenting myself and honestly going after relationships I see as high value. I have to admit that I have gotten a lot of negative feedback from romantic opportunities and family since updating my thinking. Does truly embracing your self/freedom come with growing pains and time or is just that being yourself is just a more lonely experience? Does any of this have to do with these beliefs being less sexually attractive than more convention beliefs around family, marriage, governments etc?

(Replay) Impostor Syndrome, Parenting a mischievous son, BF went to stripclub

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In this replay of Episode 191, Dr. Howk and Dr. Lisle answer the following questions:

1.  What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud? 

2. A dad’s son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor’s nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications.  

3.  A listener’s boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers.  He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one.  Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn’t mind this happening.  And also if this is ‘normal behavior’ for men and so she should expect it from any future partners. 

4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness?

5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps? 

239: Down arrow, Education policy, Epigenetics, Trauma induced behavioral change

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In this new episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk answer these q’s:

1.  Voicemail question: Are there some situations where you avoid using the down arrow technique like when the worst case scenario is actually going to happen or already present? 

2.  Imagine that you are magically made Emperor of K-12 Education in the US. Essentially, you have complete, authoritarian control over the education system and can expect 100% compliance on your vision and mandates. How would you design the education system, and how does the big 5 and evo psych affect your design?

3. I want to make sure I understand beating your genes. If people are told no, punished, held back, negative reinforcement over and over again it will affect the genes. Is this a true statement.