love

In today’s show, the Dr’s discuss:

1. Are attachment styles just the last trend in psychodynamic nonsense? Or is there some legitimacy to it?

2. I wanted to get your perspectives on the trait of confidence. Do you view confidence as a combination of Big5 traits? Is there such a thing as internal confidence or is it all driven by market feedback with respect to mates, friends, and trading partners? I’m particularly interested in understanding if there are ways to help children feel more confident. 

3. Please can you help me with ‘Imposter Syndrome’? I was recently offered, seemingly out of the blue, a stellar opportunity to work at the highest tier of my industry that I am yet to complete training in. I am HC, HA, HN, above av intelligence. After weeks of stress & emotional turmoil, not to mention hard work, I pulled off a great presentation and have been flooded with esteem & positive feedback & people wanting to work with me. Not soley because of the presentation, but my name must be getting ‘out there’ in my field. I am in a permanent state of bewilderment & anxiety. I cannot seem to internalise, accept as true and enjoy my ‘success.’ I feel like a fraud and that my new clients are overestimating me and will be disappointed. Please help, these feelings are crippling and are inhibiting me moving forward. NB This is my third career and I have not experienced anything like this before.

In today’s episode, Dr. Lisle goes over: 

1. What would be the stone age benefit for women to seek only compassion and not direct help or solutions?

2. I grew up in a household with parents who successfully left their home countries and “made it” as engineers in the US. I grew up with the expectation that I would follow their trajectory – I completed a bachelors, a masters, and was always “en-route” to medical school. Post-graduate school though, things started to look a little differently for me. I lost academic steam and I fell into mystical, artsy land. Recently, I feel like I woke up from a pity-party slumber. I am getting back on the path to medical school. The problem? I am torn. I find myself battling 3 different lives: a life of sacrifice to others through usage of my scientific aptitude, a life of being a jester and using my charm to brighten people’s lives, and a life of solitude in pursuit of philosophical truths. So what do I do? Why have I been torn in this position for the past 3 years since graduate school? Am I stuck in black-or-white thinking and can do all three, or have I subconsciously ran a cost-benefit analysis and have determined certain routes aren’t worth it? 

3. My sister is in need of bone marrow. As her only sibling, I would be ideal for this and have a 25% chance of matching. But this comes with serious risks for the donor. Unlike my sister, I take good care of myself, eating a whole foods diet. I am not on any medication and avoid taking even aspirins. Also unlike my sister, I am vehemently opposed to taking the vaccine. However, my doctor says that I will likely be forced to take it if I want to be her donor. I could postpone a decision and simply find out if I’m a match, but if I am, I will feel compelled to continue going down this road, a road I’m not sure I want to go down. How do I make this decision?