In today’s episode, Dr. Lisle discusses: 1. How much do you owe your parents as they age? My father is very disagreeable and I hate being around him. As my father ages, he will need me to care for him more but I would like to move out of state. He does not have any savings to afford quality nursing home care. Do I need to take him with me because there would be no one else here to care for him? 2. I’m having environment issues and I’m really stuck as to what to do about it. I have a 36 year old special needs daughter. Every chance I get, I sneak into her room and grab some cookies, or candy or whatever else she has stashed in there away from Mom. It’s really hindering my progress. 3. I am easily thrown off by simple things at work or in my personal life- and I’m a crier. My mom and I had a disagreement recently and I didn’t get over it for over an hour and kept involuntarily crying because I was so upset that I disappointed her. I don’t re-calibrate quickly from negative feedback and I’d like to learn how to get better at it. Maybe I’m too darn sensitive. 4. I am very happy with my life, have a dream job, good performance reviews, good pay and I so I should be happy. But I know that I’m not fully applying myself at work and I that I’m cruising at 50% effort. As as result I feel constant guilt for slacking off at work, and yet I cannot seem to force myself to work harder. The boss is happy, and unless there is an immediate and heavy deadline I don’t feel motivated. Can you talk about this phenomenon please?
love
(Replay) Neuroticism and IQ, Creating habits, Saving a post-affair marriage
In today’s replay of episode 211, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss:
1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We’ve all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied?
2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system’s priorities too?
3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over the feelings of inadequacy I have in my marriage post-affair? It’s been almost a year since I found out and I still bring it up in arguments. At times I use it as my trump card and win our arguments as he feels bad every time I bring it up. Yet I can’t bring myself to stop doing it. 2. How can I let go of the jealousy and resentment towards his affair partner? They are still in contact and remain friends. I find myself checking her social media accounts and obsessing over her, and I want to stop.
(Replay) Neuroticism and IQ, Creating habits, Saving a post-affair marriage
In today’s replay of episode 211, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss: 1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We’ve all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied? 2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system’s priorities too? 3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over the feelings of inadequacy I have in my marriage post-affair? It’s been almost a year since I found out and I still bring it up in arguments. At times I use it as my trump card and win our arguments as he feels bad every time I bring it up. Yet I can’t bring myself to stop doing it. 2. How can I let go of the jealousy and resentment towards his affair partner? They are still in contact and remain friends. I find myself checking her social media accounts and obsessing over her, and I want to stop.