310: Do women dangle sex? Maintaining friends when income becomes disparate, Are Modern-day office jobs feminized? Does society prefer sons?

In today’s episode, Dr. Lisle & Howk discuss: 

  1. You talk about Tears, Anger, Force, Fraud and Free Trade RA strategies. Why did you exclude sex from this list? And in particular, women dangling sex to get men to do stuff. I guess we can ideally put this in the FREE TRADE category, but sex can be gotten by using any of these other RA strategies too I suppose. Anything more to add here?
  2. Do the doctors have any thoughts on the ability of people in different socioeconomic situations to be friends, or maintaining friendships when socioeconomic situations that were similar become disparate? I am in my 40s and have remained close with a group of four other women from college. We all come from upper middle class backgrounds and are professionals doing pretty well. However, one of my friends has become wealthy. I feel that this causes some resentment and awkwardness between her a couple of other women who become irritated with her and don’t seem to believe that she could possibly have any problems. My friend who is wealthy is pretty humble and neither brags about nor conceals her circumstances, but this happens nonetheless. This has me wondering generally about how important similar socioeconomics are to friendships and why. When problems arises due to this difference, it there a way to beat our genes in order to preserve friendships?
  3. Can Dr Lisle discuss if he has any views on the feminisation of modern desk based/ office jobs. To me the majority of knowledge work in the corporate world feels better suited to gathering oriented nervous systems as opposed to hunter oriented nervous systems, especially when you look at the nature of the recognition culture in corporations. It seems like it is very much suited to align with the types of reward structures women would seek out. How might this impact the feelings of excitement, boredom or fulfilment for people who are not inclined in this way?
  4. I was trying to think about patriarchy/son preference through the lens of evolutionary psychology. Here’s what I came up with: As far as I can tell, this tendency tends to be stronger in traditional societies with a strong emphasis on marriage. Males are willing sleep down under casual mating strategy but want to sleep up with a fancier females if pursuing long-term mating strategy. In a marriage-type situation the male’s offspring will probably be fancier/more desirable than he is. If that male has a son who, in turn, pair bonds with an even more attractive female, his grandkids will be fancier still. But if he has a daughter, she might have to marry “down” to secure resources for her future offspring, in which case the original male’s grandkids won’t be as “desirable”. Could a son preference basically just boil down to the hope that, by “marrying up” generation after generation, the original male’s genes will eventually out compete all his competitors and either take over the world or be all 10s?
  5. What is unique about teen brains that make them so commonly giddy, laughing and joyous when hanging out with their friends?  What’s so funny?  I’m so old I don’t remember!

    Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

    Host: Nathan Gershfeld                              

    Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

    Podcast website:  http://www.BeatYourGenes.org

    True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us

     

    Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

309: Resentful of Cheating Dad, Do Men Prefer to Earn More than Spouse, Moving In with Partner but Marriage is Off the Table

In today’s episode, Dr. Lisle and Howk discuss the following questions:

  1. I listened to your talk discussing whether humans actually have Free Will: If we, as an organism are just doing what we perceive is optimal for the species in survival and reproduction, does that mean that I should not be very angry at my father who cheated on my Mom repeatedly, divorced her, and spent the rest of his life hitting on women whenever one seemed available in front of him? It has bothered me my whole life and as his daughter I hate him for that. But of course, as I am agreeable, I have never told him that but deep down I resent him.
  2. Does the average man prefer to make a higher salary than his spouse?  And does the average man prefer to have a degree that is at least as advanced as his spouse?    How does it affect a man if he makes less money than his wife, or is not as accomplished academically?
  3. So I understand that women can’t make themselves more attractive by earning more money, but all things being equal, will men generally select a woman making more money rather than less?  Also, what about a woman who makes significantly more than a guy — might that hurt her chances with him?
  4. As a man how do I approach my partner about moving in and us signing a cohabitation agreement that everything is separate other than things we agree to in advance? She is very sensitive and think it will be a tough subject to talk about. I have a lot more money than she does and don’t want any legal matters to be an issue later if we break up. Marriage is not in the cards.

    Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

    Host: Nathan Gershfeld                              

    Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

    Podcast website:  http://www.BeatYourGenes.org

    True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us

     

    Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

308: Dumped but then he came back, Can’t eat healthy unless I live in the woods, Do introverts need to socialize more

In today’s show, Dr. Lisle & Howk review the following questions: 

  1. How do you reconcile Dr. Jen’s potted plant theory with Dr. Lisle’s ego trap? As someone that is over 90th percentile introverted and emotionally unstable I find I prefer to keep my world very small and do not have energy for much socializing outside of working full time in an office full of people. Sometimes people encourage me to push myself to socialize more but I’m content spending time at home with my spouse and animals – how would I know if I avoid socializing due to an ego trap or if I’m just designing a life that fits my big 5?
  2. A friend of mine was recently dumped via text message. She was in a relationship with this man for about 6 months, everything was going well (both had been married previously and had teenage children). The breakup came as a complete shock to my friend. 6 weeks later the guy contacted my friend, appologised for dumping her and asked for a second chance.  Is it possible he was seeing someone else and realised my friend was a better ‘mate’ option?
  3. As a woman in my 50s who has eaten crap her whole life and fought her weight the whole time too, I have found that unless I quit my job, divorce my husband, drop all my friends, move to a cabin in the woods in total isolation with no form of communication or entertainment and never leave while growing my own whole foods, controlling everything in my environment is impossible and triggers and cravings are everywhere. (and some appear without any noticeable provocation and with a connection that only my brain can seem to find.). What can I do? I am trying to deprogram over 50 years of programming and habits and are surrounded by people who aren’t even trying and surrounded by an industry and environment that is bound and determined to make me sick and fat.

     

    Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

    Host: Nathan Gershfeld                              

    Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

    Podcast website:  http://www.BeatYourGenes.org

    True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us

     

    Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus