love

In today’s show, the Dr’s discuss the following questions: 1. Would you still recommend psychology as a career? I am interested in becoming a therapist, and your podcast has turned what I thought I knew on it’s head and has completely changed the way I would want to go about my theoretical orientation. But now that it’s so different, I feel like I am doubting everything.  Could you talk a little about what it’s like to be in the position of the therapist? I am looking for information to direct my behavioral output. 2. How do I overcome fear? I have a friend who is brave and courageous! I would so like to accomplish those qualities, but whether it comes to sky diving, public speaking, or taking other risks im super scared and it takes so much for me to make the leap? How can I make the leap easier and become more courageous when I know that’s what I really want? any tricks/shortcuts/technique or game changing information regarding this? 3. I am a female in my 50s now, and all of my life when someone is mad or upset with me, for any reason and no matter who has the ‘right’ to be upset, I cannot live with it. I perseverate on it and I cannot shake things until things are resolved and even after sometimes I do not find a release. I am surprised that at this point in my life I cannot shake this. For example, at work I made a mistake and I am working to fix the error, but I am ashamed and even though I am moving forward with efforts to fix the problem and grow from it, I cannot rest for weeks. What is this heavy and stressful feeling trying to tell me?

On today’s show, the Dr’s answer these questions: 1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We’ve all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied? 2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system’s priorities too? 3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over the feelings of inadequacy I have in my marriage post-affair? It’s been almost a year since I found out and I still bring it up in arguments. At times I use it as my trump card and win our arguments as he feels bad every time I bring it up. Yet I can’t bring myself to stop doing it. 2. How can I let go of the jealousy and resentment towards his affair partner? They are still in contact and remain friends. I find myself checking her social media accounts and obsessing over her, and I want to stop.

In today’s show, Dr. Howk discusses the following questions: 1. I belong to a professional organization that has been working to root out genuine problems with racism, albeit in fits and starts. But lately it feels as though the tone has devolved from one of problem-solving to grievance-seeking and grievance-magnification. The communications have been hijacked by highly disagreeable and/or highly neurotic individuals, plus those who are gaining status as lead torchbearer. A few have said they’d rather destroy the organization than be part of one which hasn’t achieved their goals for diversity, even if said organization was doing good advocacy work for others. Is there any coming back from this? All pleas for mutual respect and professionalism are decried as tone-policing and their originators as enablers and bigots. Anything I can do besides keep my tongue tucked and eyes on my own work? Thank you for your thoughts! I’m grateful to this podcast for giving some psychological distance from the ongoing shit show. 2. Dr. Lisle has mentioned the concept of “internal ugliness” a couple of times in previous shows. How does one go about identifying their own internal ugliness, and then mitigating or correcting it?