206: Depression, Why does mad girlfriend ignore, 25 year relationship no sex

In today’s show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk go over the following questions: 1. Depression often gets talked about as being a biological condition and that just like having a broken arm, treating depression with medication is similar to treating a broken bone with a splint. What is the opinion of Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk about treating depression with medication vs. taking an evolutionary approach to helping individuals improve the esteem dynamics in their life? The combination of medication and therapy is often viewed as the best treatment, but I don’t think most therapies take the approach that Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk do. 2. I’m a male and I’ve noticed that in numerous relationships, if my girlfriend was mad, then she would just flat out ignore me. I don’t understand this behavior as anger would usually lead me to talk through issues and try to resolve them, whereas they might just ignore my calls and messages for days at a time. This caused me tremendous stress ro the point of getting no sleep and significantly impaired life functioning. How do I deal with this situation? And is this a male/female difference in conflict resolution, or an esteem dynamic where I’m over rewarded? 3. Ive been living with my boyfriend for over 15 yrs. Been with him total of 25 yrs. Im a young 60, he is 57. Ready to fall off ur chair? We have never had intercourse. First 10 yrs we done sone other intimate things, but no more. He never pursues or initiates anything with me. I used to try, but tired of being rejected.;( I want to leave the relationship. But do not. I definitely need help, can u give me some insight & guidance.

205: Moderation vs. fanaticism in life pursuits, Social media as pleasure trap

In today’s episode Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk answer the following questions: 1. My brother never does anything in moderation, for example if he starts working out, he’ll organize his life around it, stop all social drinking and the like. Then he will eventually feel empty and complain he’s burnt out. My question is, is he destined to live in this open-unstable roller-coaster ride, or can I give him some advice (perhaps Harry Browne style) that will help him find his place? 2. I’ve heard Dr. Howk talk about social media as a potential pleasure trap, and I was wondering if she could go into more depth on that. What are the circuits being hijacked? What advice would you give to a low-key social media addict?

204: Do emotions trigger relapses? How to prevent/minimize addictive relapse?

In this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, “Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use”.  https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it’s hard to resist the feeling that I’m leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying to mold emotions to fit the environment instead of working on the environment? Are there any exceptions?