love

In today’s show, we’ll get the Dr’s take on a recent study “Surviving and Thriving: Fundamental Social Motives Provide Purpose in Life” published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.” https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0146167219883604 We’ll also go over these questions: 1. Where do New Year’s resolutions come from?  Why start something Jan 1 vs. any other random day? 2.  Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the most common New Year’s resolution:  weight loss 3. What do the Dr’s think about the work of Dr. John Sarno in curing chronic back pain using education of how the mind works as treatment? According to Dr. Sarno childhood abuse can lead to rage in the unconscious mind and brain triggers TMS or chronic pain to repress this internal rage and there have been hundreds of people who have cured their back ache after reading his book, Healing Back Pain

Today’s questions are:   1. I’ve been married to a 90% disagreeable man for 42 years. Many times I’ve packed my bags but never followed through. I dream of being on my own, doing the little things in life without being questioned. As he has gotten older his drinking has become a problem. Every year finds me more depressed. How to know when to go? 2.why do men flirt? I am falling for a guy who is a huge flirt. I see him flirting with me and with other women, and he has a long distance, long term girlfriend who he is faithful to. Why does he flirt so much? Why am I falling for him even though I know he doesn’t mean anything serious by flirting? 3. How do you deal with toxic and controlling parents who like to believe that they are doing RIGHT by continuing to control your life well into your adulthood ? Is it normal to feel that you have a hate relationship with your mother because of lack of support and love to you? As a daughter it feels awful to feel it this way but I can’t get over the fact that having a distant and uncaring mother has driven me into agreeing to marry a person who is totally different to me in personality. Even to this date my mother still emotionally blackmails me to not get a divorce by using her health as a reason. You can divorce your spouse but how can you ever divorce your mother and get over it without feeling the guilt? 4. A friend of mine is having some troubles getting in touch with his friends regularly. He always thinks, if I (or anyone else) doesn’t contact him first, I don’t like him anymore. It seems to me like he is suffering from some kind of inferiority complex in that sense. How do you explain such a behavior in an evolutionary sense or to broaden my question, why do people suffer from inferiority complexes and how can they try to overcome such feelings?

Today’s questions: 1. Is it true that there are parts of the mind that we don’t have access to, like a “subconscious?” Put another way, is there any information in our mind that we cannot reach down and consider with our conscious thinking? Some neuroscientists talk about thoughts as if they are served up to our awareness. But it seems like we can “direct” our thoughts. But can we “access” all the information and ideas that are in the darker corners of our brain’s file cabinets? 2. You mentioned in episode 2 that people can also get depressed about their personal survival, like in the case of discovering they have cancer, but you didn’t elaborate on what purpose that might serve evolutionarily. People in the Stone age wouldn’t have known they had terminal cancer, but they might have a good sense that a disease or wound was almost certainly going to fester and kill them… What are the genes telling this person to do and why?  As a follow up, once a person can accept their impending death with certainty, should the depressive feelings decrease or end? Do people who embrace their mortality find relief and the ability to enjoy their remaining time relatively stress-free? 3. Why do human brains take so long to mature to competence? Yes we are born relatively early to accommodate the size of the head, but it’s not a matter of a few more months. No other animal is so helpless for so many years. Are human brains slow to mature because they are so adaptable, so they hold off on forming synapses right away? Or is it because they simply have so many neurons to wire up in more complex ways compared to other animals, it truly takes that long? If the former, what is it about human intelligence that is so much slower to wire up if it’s all hard-coded by the DNA anyway, and what advantage is there in postponing the ability to walk etc for so long?