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In this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, “Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use”.  https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it’s hard to resist the feeling that I’m leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying to mold emotions to fit the environment instead of working on the environment? Are there any exceptions?

In today’s show, we’ll get the Dr’s take on a recent study “Surviving and Thriving: Fundamental Social Motives Provide Purpose in Life” published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.” https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0146167219883604 We’ll also go over these questions: 1. Where do New Year’s resolutions come from?  Why start something Jan 1 vs. any other random day? 2.  Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the most common New Year’s resolution:  weight loss 3. What do the Dr’s think about the work of Dr. John Sarno in curing chronic back pain using education of how the mind works as treatment? According to Dr. Sarno childhood abuse can lead to rage in the unconscious mind and brain triggers TMS or chronic pain to repress this internal rage and there have been hundreds of people who have cured their back ache after reading his book, Healing Back Pain

Today’s questions are:   1. I’ve been married to a 90% disagreeable man for 42 years. Many times I’ve packed my bags but never followed through. I dream of being on my own, doing the little things in life without being questioned. As he has gotten older his drinking has become a problem. Every year finds me more depressed. How to know when to go? 2.why do men flirt? I am falling for a guy who is a huge flirt. I see him flirting with me and with other women, and he has a long distance, long term girlfriend who he is faithful to. Why does he flirt so much? Why am I falling for him even though I know he doesn’t mean anything serious by flirting? 3. How do you deal with toxic and controlling parents who like to believe that they are doing RIGHT by continuing to control your life well into your adulthood ? Is it normal to feel that you have a hate relationship with your mother because of lack of support and love to you? As a daughter it feels awful to feel it this way but I can’t get over the fact that having a distant and uncaring mother has driven me into agreeing to marry a person who is totally different to me in personality. Even to this date my mother still emotionally blackmails me to not get a divorce by using her health as a reason. You can divorce your spouse but how can you ever divorce your mother and get over it without feeling the guilt? 4. A friend of mine is having some troubles getting in touch with his friends regularly. He always thinks, if I (or anyone else) doesn’t contact him first, I don’t like him anymore. It seems to me like he is suffering from some kind of inferiority complex in that sense. How do you explain such a behavior in an evolutionary sense or to broaden my question, why do people suffer from inferiority complexes and how can they try to overcome such feelings?