love,sex,dating advice,relationships,attraction

On today’s show, the Dr’s answer these questions:

1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We’ve all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied?

2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system’s priorities too?

3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over the feelings of inadequacy I have in my marriage post-affair? It’s been almost a year since I found out and I still bring it up in arguments. At times I use it as my trump card and win our arguments as he feels bad every time I bring it up. Yet I can’t bring myself to stop doing it. 2. How can I let go of the jealousy and resentment towards his affair partner? They are still in contact and remain friends. I find myself checking her social media accounts and obsessing over her, and I want to stop.

In today’s show, Dr. Howk discusses the following questions:

1. I belong to a professional organization that has been working to root out genuine problems with racism, albeit in fits and starts. But lately it feels as though the tone has devolved from one of problem-solving to grievance-seeking and grievance-magnification. The communications have been hijacked by highly disagreeable and/or highly neurotic individuals, plus those who are gaining status as lead torchbearer. A few have said they’d rather destroy the organization than be part of one which hasn’t achieved their goals for diversity, even if said organization was doing good advocacy work for others. Is there any coming back from this? All pleas for mutual respect and professionalism are decried as tone-policing and their originators as enablers and bigots. Anything I can do besides keep my tongue tucked and eyes on my own work? Thank you for your thoughts! I’m grateful to this podcast for giving some psychological distance from the ongoing shit show.

2. Dr. Lisle has mentioned the concept of “internal ugliness” a couple of times in previous shows. How does one go about identifying their own internal ugliness, and then mitigating or correcting it?

In today’s show, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions:

1. Are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? If so, why are some people more susceptible to addiction than others?

2. In my husbands family, several members are bullies. Even my husband will join the bully pack if there is any indication they might turn on him. I am highly agreeable and conscience and find I am often the target of their bullying. What is the best ‘tactic’ to use with adult bullies in families?

3. What attracts people to others from different ethnic backgrounds to themselves? I wish was drawn to women with dark features as there are so many more of these women in the world.

4. People get physically less attractive as they age. They also become less fertile to the point of being infertile. What happens when looks and the prospect of sex are no longer appealing due to age related decline? How does evolutionary psychology explain attraction at this point in life and beyond?