356: You Want Them to Change—But Will They? Suicide, Marijuana, and Sobriety

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.

[0:00] Teaser Clips

[0:32] Q1 Nephew is suicidal, but he called to tell me

[09:19] The psychology of suicide

[30:08] Follow up question from E355

[37:20] Q2 My husband is addicted to marijuana – can he change?

[53:07] Q3: I’m one month sober – can it last?

[1:14:19] Conclusion

Q1: What do you do when a family member calls you and tells you that they are suicidal?  Last night I received a phone call from my 35 year old nephew telling me he was suicidal.  Growing up he was my favorite nephew but I haven’t seen him for over 20 year because he lives on the other side of the country and I was estranged from his father, my brother, who dies ten years ago. That’s when his life fell apart.  Before that he was a very likeable, bright, college graduate, financially successful and an extremely fit and healthy young man.   Now he is obese, severely depressed, has an alcohol and gambling addiction and on multiple psych meds, just waiting to “get his meds right”.  He did read Anatomy of an Epidemic and did a 60 day stint in a rehab and tried AA but felt “he didn’t need to be there”.  He was such a great kid so I’m heartbroken that his life has spiraled so out of control that he wants to end it. Is there anything hope for him to turn his life around and where do you suggest he starts?

 

Q2: My husband is addicted to marijuana. He smokes it every day from morning to night, at home and at work. His parents and I have all tried to talk to him about his behaviour and how worried we are for his health. He’s almost 40 years old and has been smoking since he was a teenager. I know I’m the bigger fool for being married to him but he’s more than just the addiction, he is a hard worker and does everything for me a wife could want. And I do love him. Is there any hope of changing his behaviour, can he be persuaded to change? He was a cigarette smoker when we met and he quit when I asked him to. I feel like he should be able to quit marijuana too. I keep hoping, and waiting.

 

Q3: Dr. Lisle, I am 1 month sober from alcohol. I am keeping no alcohol in the home, to “take it out of season”. But I am worried about relapsing, since that is common. How do I stop the sneaky voice in my head that will tell me it’s okay to drink? My drinking had gotten entirely out of hand and dangerous. Is it important to follow any practices for mental and social health to remain sober for life (like most sober resources seem to promote), outside of just concentrating my thoughts on keeping alcohol “out of season”? For context, although I follow the McDougall diet where food choices are concerned, I on purpose allow myself to binge out on something “off-menu-rich” as a treat every month or 2 without “falling off the wagon” and getting more treats after they’re gone, and I always maintain my ideal weight (I am very thin and athletic regardless of my food addiction, because I stick to the right foods other than that ‘once-every-month-or-2’ chocolate or candy binge). I’m worried this same mindset will carry over to alcohol and trick me into drinking again. I don’t have a social circle of friends for support, to which my drinking contributed to, and I am an introvert.
 

X: @BeatYourGenes

Web: http://www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD http://www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC http://www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

351:  What is Transference and Counter-transference in a Psycho-therapeutic relationshiop? Is this Freudian concept out-dated?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today’s show, Dr. Lisle discusses a listener’s question about transference and counter-transference. 

 

  • [0:00] Intro
  • [0:57] Question #1
  • [2:46] A synopsis of psycho-dynamic thinking
  • [9:36] Psycho-dynamic thinking is naïve and bizarre
  • [11:21] What is a therapeutic relationship
  • [20:10]  Attraction can occur in a therapeutic relationship
  • [26:50] ‘Transference’ from therapist’s past experiences
  • [33:43] Therapeutic dynamic is usually not a burden or threat
  • [37:36] Warning sign that something is out of line
  • [45:38] What drew Dr. Lisle to be a psychologist
     

X: @BeatYourGenes

Web: http://www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD http://www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC http://www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

E349: “Going crazy” after cheating on husband, Are there limitations to Personality or Intelligence tests? Are problematic/disagreeable co-workers less estrogenized? Follow-up question from E347

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today’s show, Dr. Lisle discusses the idea of “going crazy”, a question about personality and intelligence testing, a question about disagreeable co-workers, and a follow-up from episode 347.

[0:00] Teaser Clips

[1:23] Question 1: Woman cheats on her husband then snaps

[9:57] Can it be induced by psychiatric medications

[12:22] Question 2 – Are there errors/biases in personality or intelligence testing?

[23:40] What are some limitations to personality or intelligence testing?

[30:02] Do personality or intelligence tests change throughout life?

[34:58] What is an IQ test?

[38:50] Question 3: Are my problematic/disagreeable female co-workers less estrogenized?

[47:47] Question 4: Follow-up from past episode

[1:10:45] End
 

X: @BeatYourGenes

Web: http://www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD http://www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC http://www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast