personality

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss a very misleading graph in a recent paper published in Lancet Journal along with the following listener questions:

1.To what extent would you say children, money and marriage contracts keep sub-par relationships intact today vs. the lesser stickiness of relationships in the stone age. This isn’t always a bad thing, right? Parents are raising kids and everyone gets to keep more of their wealth. What’s the harm- why bother splitting things up in the hopes of finding a magic 10. Isn’t the conservation of energy circuit just doing what it does?

2. I am stuck in a loveless marriage. I had a steady career making six figures as a pharmacist. I hated my job, but I was stuck because I was over $500,000 in debt. I then met a rich man who promised me if I married him I wouldn’t have to work another day in my life. He paid off my student debt. So I agreed to marry him. Five years later, I am miserable. I never loved him, but I also feel like I have no purpose in life. I do nothing besides sleep, eat, exercise and attend social events. He has maids, cooks, nannies and tutors taking care of everything a woman normally would. The sex is awful, most of the time I just lie there waiting for him to finish and pretend to enjoy it. He loves and is attracted to me, but now even the sight of him repulses me even though he did nothing wrong. Now I am stuck in a dilemma: do I stay in a loveless marriage and comfortable life, forgoing my chance at ever finding true love, or do I leave, go back to a job I hate and have a chance at finding true love? I am a 32 year old female and he is 45

3. Dear doctors. I’ve been with my wife for a couple of decades. She was always very physically beautiful and I was very overrewarded up until we had kids several years ago. She is still the best person I know, however she has lost the looks and the dopamine doesn’t drive me to seek her the way it use to. I’ve tried to talk to her about this, but she is pretty firm in her stance that I have to take it or leave it. I love my kids too much to leave the relationship, but I know deep down I would be happier with someone who I am attracted to physically. Do I do what my dad did and stick out an unhappy marriage for the kids? Or do I make the exit plan that most men seem to always do? 

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Host: Nathan Gershfeld                              

Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

Podcast website:  http://www.BeatYourGenes.org

True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today’s episode, Dr. Lisle & Howk discuss: 

1. You talk about Tears, Anger, Force, Fraud and Free Trade RA strategies. Why did you exclude sex from this list? And in particular, women dangling sex to get men to do stuff. I guess we can ideally put this in the FREE TRADE category, but sex can be gotten by using any of these other RA strategies too I suppose. Anything more to add here?
2. Do the doctors have any thoughts on the ability of people in different socioeconomic situations to be friends, or maintaining friendships when socioeconomic situations that were similar become disparate? I am in my 40s and have remained close with a group of four other women from college. We all come from upper middle class backgrounds and are professionals doing pretty well. However, one of my friends has become wealthy. I feel that this causes some resentment and awkwardness between her a couple of other women who become irritated with her and don’t seem to believe that she could possibly have any problems. My friend who is wealthy is pretty humble and neither brags about nor conceals her circumstances, but this happens nonetheless. This has me wondering generally about how important similar socioeconomics are to friendships and why. When problems arises due to this difference, it there a way to beat our genes in order to preserve friendships?
3. Can Dr Lisle discuss if he has any views on the feminisation of modern desk based/ office jobs. To me the majority of knowledge work in the corporate world feels better suited to gathering oriented nervous systems as opposed to hunter oriented nervous systems, especially when you look at the nature of the recognition culture in corporations. It seems like it is very much suited to align with the types of reward structures women would seek out. How might this impact the feelings of excitement, boredom or fulfilment for people who are not inclined in this way?
4. I was trying to think about patriarchy/son preference through the lens of evolutionary psychology. Here’s what I came up with: As far as I can tell, this tendency tends to be stronger in traditional societies with a strong emphasis on marriage. Males are willing sleep down under casual mating strategy but want to sleep up with a fancier females if pursuing long-term mating strategy. In a marriage-type situation the male’s offspring will probably be fancier/more desirable than he is. If that male has a son who, in turn, pair bonds with an even more attractive female, his grandkids will be fancier still. But if he has a daughter, she might have to marry “down” to secure resources for her future offspring, in which case the original male’s grandkids won’t be as “desirable”. Could a son preference basically just boil down to the hope that, by “marrying up” generation after generation, the original male’s genes will eventually out compete all his competitors and either take over the world or be all 10s?
5. What is unique about teen brains that make them so commonly giddy, laughing and joyous when hanging out with their friends?  What’s so funny?  I’m so old I don’t remember!

   Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

   Host: Nathan Gershfeld                              

   Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

   Podcast website:  http://www.BeatYourGenes.org

   True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us

    

   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today’s show, Dr. Lisle & Howk review the following questions: 

1. How do you reconcile Dr. Jen’s potted plant theory with Dr. Lisle’s ego trap? As someone that is over 90th percentile introverted and emotionally unstable I find I prefer to keep my world very small and do not have energy for much socializing outside of working full time in an office full of people. Sometimes people encourage me to push myself to socialize more but I’m content spending time at home with my spouse and animals – how would I know if I avoid socializing due to an ego trap or if I’m just designing a life that fits my big 5?
2. A friend of mine was recently dumped via text message. She was in a relationship with this man for about 6 months, everything was going well (both had been married previously and had teenage children). The breakup came as a complete shock to my friend. 6 weeks later the guy contacted my friend, appologised for dumping her and asked for a second chance.  Is it possible he was seeing someone else and realised my friend was a better ‘mate’ option?
3. As a woman in my 50s who has eaten crap her whole life and fought her weight the whole time too, I have found that unless I quit my job, divorce my husband, drop all my friends, move to a cabin in the woods in total isolation with no form of communication or entertainment and never leave while growing my own whole foods, controlling everything in my environment is impossible and triggers and cravings are everywhere. (and some appear without any noticeable provocation and with a connection that only my brain can seem to find.). What can I do? I am trying to deprogram over 50 years of programming and habits and are surrounded by people who aren’t even trying and surrounded by an industry and environment that is bound and determined to make me sick and fat.

    

   Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

   Host: Nathan Gershfeld                              

   Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

   Podcast website:  http://www.BeatYourGenes.org

   True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us

    

   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus