231: Post-corona dating calibration, Pushing our kids, Controlling others

Today’s questions: 1. I’m interested in the post-Corona calibration process many of us are likely going through or about to go through. I’d be interested to hear how this unique level of isolation we’ve all experienced leads to decalibration and then the process of recalibrating again. I am just now starting to “get back out there” and I get the sense that my nervous system is desperate for calibration while at the same time guarded against any potential bad news. What do you think, doctors? 2. I’m curious why it seems so many of us are programmed to want to push our kids to achieve if the long-term influence falls flat.   3.  I am struggling to realize the last chapter of How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, where the author describes freedom from wanting to control others.  I have a 29 year old brother who still lives with my mother. He was working before the pandemic, but is currently unemployed. He has made thousands of dollars a month but pays her nothing. He says she doesn’t care and he is wanted. She says she doesn’t mind other. In the past I have argued about why this relationship is bad for them both. I’m having a hard time why this situation makes me so angry, when really it is none of my business. I would love to “be free” of my concern, but it feels deeply concerning that from what I see my brother is exploiting my mother to avoid life and she is enabling him because she doesn’t want to live alone. 4. When women write “family-oriented” on a dating profile is this code for “looking for man who will invest all of his resources into me and our potential children” and also “I’m vetting your current relationship with your mother as proof!”